6 Reasons Women Don’t Desire a Relationship With You
They’re not dolls, alright? They’re Spawn Figures, regarding fucks sake!
I write a lot about how to meet women, how to go on dates and how to obtain those dates to finish in bed. Sure, for some guys that’s enough, but what happens to the ones that are looking more? Perform relationships just happen?
Last week I was working with a conversation with a good friend of mine. He described that even though this individual was “scoring” fairly regularly, he never managed to keep dating exactly the same person longer than 2-3 months. He was very puzzled why the ladies in his lifestyle lost interest over time of your time. In my experience, it was quite apparent – he was traveling them apart.
A few months provides a woman plenty of your time to “really know you”, it’s here when she decides in case you are a valuable expenditure.
Although you believe you’re doing everything right, the ladies that you’re online dating seem to vary. This article discusses the most common factors men drive women apart. I’ve split them up into 2 categories, physical turnoffs as well as behavioral turnoffs and you will be detailing each types in this post. You might think a number of them are apparent but seriously consider those you didn’t know about as they might just be the reason you are shedding away.
Bodily Turnoffs
Prior to we get into this particular subject, I want to inform you that through physical turnoffs I’m not really talking about your stomach, weak hands, inability of benching 180kg etc . Most of the time women are not searching for the strongest/most stunning guy in the room; they just want a man with class, confidence and correct etiquette. Do you think she’d go out with you to get a month if the lady cared about your invisible six-pack?
Here are some of the things you have to avoid if you would like your “relationships” to be lengthier.
Bad bodily behaviors
Yawning without having covering your mouth – Do you think she would like to look at your tonsils every time you’re tired? No which also shows the girl that you lack correct etiquette.
Burping Loudly – Unless you’re Chinese (many other Oriental cultures) and you’re enhancing the restaurant chef or even her cooking, restrict yourself from doing this kind of “activities” as in most western cultures that’s just revolting.
Spitting – Regardless how bad you believe you must do it, try NOT carrying it out when she’s close to.
Eradicating your phlegm throat loudly and incessantly – Avoid this by drinking some water or not talking, if you really have to do it, just reason yourself for a time and sort it out at the bathroom.
Choosing in/around your nasal area – This can be a common matter that your kindergarten instructor was telling you to not do however , when you begin to feel comfortable around a person (after 1-2 months or even so) you begin in order to forget about controlling your self and you start doing things without even realizing.
Displaying nervous ticks – Nervous ticks can be anything from biting nails in order to blinking profusely. This kind of bodily habits are not easy to control and if you can’t avoid them, best is to pray she’s not really bothered by them.
Eating with no etiquette – It’s considered good sense to eat together with your mouth close, to hold the actual fork and knife correctly and not to talk with your mouth area full. No girl wants you’re chewed blend in her tresses.
Coming your nose – Some people consider this as being normal and are also ok with carrying it out in public however , most people consider it disgusting. If you need to do it, do it in private. If you need to do it before the girl, make sure you excuse your self.
Itching inappropriate areas of your body – Do you think a woman would feel drawn to a man that scratches his testicles or even butt in public places? I did not think so possibly.
During the first few dates, you might keep a lid on these matters but slowly a person forget and that’s exactly what drives them apart. Always, whenever you’re with a woman and you feel the need to satisfy any of these bodily desires, simply excuse your self and do your business in private. Think about it, do you still feel drawn to her if the lady did anything at the list? Exactly and that’s why a person shouldn’t be doing them possibly.
Bad Appearances
Vision crust – It is simple to avoid this particular by simply washing your face each morning.
Bad breath –At least at some point in their life, more than 85% of people experience halitosis (bad breath). Attempt to take every safety measure – floss, brush your tongue and use mouthwash.
Exhausted Pits – These are very disgusting plus some guys just can not avoid them. If you sweat profusely even if you use a lot of deodorant, consider wearing light color clothes (or plain black) as sweat stains are less visible to them.
Clothes issues – These can be anything through stains and or facial lines on clothing, holes in underwear, undershirt and/or clothes. Avoid them at all costs because they can only cause you to look bad.
Dirty, long fingernails – Women take a look at hands all the time with no woman would like to see a guy whose hands appear like he’s been garden all day. When it comes to lengthy fingernails, until you rock that traditional guitar, you might have no reason.
You should focus on problems all the time, not just when you’re on a date. Later on, make sure you take those extra 15 minutes each morning or before you go out in public places; the end result will be really worth it.
Behavioral Turnoffs
Constantly talking about your self – It’s correct, she does wish to know you but , she wants you to know her as well. Try asking the girl questions about your lifestyle and be genuinely considering her existence.
Not listening to the girl – During these initial months do your best to pay attention, it might appear hard but it has to be carried out. Women love a man that listens to them.
Getting very vague – Constantly talking about yourself is not any good but remember, she really does want to know that you too. Let the girl in on the fascinating stuff but not your whole life tale.
Checking out other girls as well as making remarks – You are out with her simply because you’re interested in the girl. If you keep looking at other women she’ll just think which you find her unattractive. Why should the lady be with a man that doesn’t discover her appealing?
Complaining about every factor of your life – Think about it, if you hate your life, why would certainly she wish to be component of it?
Not introducing her to the people you realize – She would like to be part of “your world” that is what makes her adore a person. With you the lady can meet people is to do stuff she will not have done with other people. Don’t keep that away from the girl.
Having a laugh like a hyena – She might have great sense of humor but laughing so hard that everybody in the restaurant discusses you, will only embarrass both of you.
Disparaging women and exes – This only shows how you will discuss her whenever she’s not right now there. Also, by no means talk about your ex, regardless of the pain as well as suffering she put a person trough, those stories are for your friends. Talking about your ex only tells your brand-new girlfriend that you’re still in love with the girl.
Aquiring a one-track mind – A man must always stand by the beliefs but he should also be opened in order to new possibilities, \ to accept her, but at least acknowledge the girl valid viewpoint.
Since exhaustive as this checklist may seem, you have surely heard your feminine friends complain about a few of the items on it. This checklist helps women decide whether a guy is boyfriend material or a one time date.
You may also make use of this list for yourself, you might like her a great deal however she’s doing some of the things here its best a person stay away.
What now?
Remember, it’s not just the initial few dates that need your constant interest, it’s the first few weeks. Eventually things dwell down and you could be your self. Hey, in case she had the chance to know you and like you regarding who you really are generally, she might even tolerate some of your bad “qualities” but before that occurs, do your best to not drive her apart.
Comments: 98
The first thing I learned about relationships as a child was the word cheating. I knew what it was, plus i met the opponent of my father. My father cheated on my mother almost my whole life while they were together up to when I was 13, when they divorced. 6 months later, I even met another opponent of my father of whom became my step-mother. They divorced to. Its my senior year of high school. Sad to say, I’ve never had a boyfriend. I don’t take any bull. I’m very strict when it comes to relationships. As of now, when I talk about marriage I know that I’m most likely to become violent “the woman beater” in the marriage taken after my mother. And sometimes I know that I will cheat. Psychologically I know that the reason why I will become this way If i ever get married is because of my parents. I won’t become a Cheater- But i know that Its a possibility that I can Cheat(once). Only inside marriage. Outside marriage, if i feel that I need to cheat. I’ll just end the relationship-That’s easy. The bad part about this Is, I would not like to be cheated on. Its not a good feeling, That’s why currently I don’t have a boyfriend never have, and in my next years or so.”college life” I don’t plan to have one either. Besides the cheating, I feel relationships are full of DRAMA and it makes no sense. I do desire to be in one, I feel when ever God is ready, whatever plans he have I’ll go with the flow. If he sends me someone, And its meant to be. I won’t mess up, but if my partner does. Then I’ll mess up 10x’s likely and make him feel 10x’s bad as I did… The Very Bad part about this whole situation. Is that I don’t see anything wrong with It. That’s the thing. Cause I think this way, because of what I’ve seen as a child. My environment. As you can see, I’m aware. So, that’s not the problem. So what do you think? Is this bad? It’s normal to me. I see nothing wrong with the way i’m thinking. But what about you?
PLEASE READ…………..I KNOW ITS LONG
I know everyone thinks of love as an emotion, but I have never been the romantic type. To me, love is very logical. No, I don’t mean people behave logically when they are in love. I mean what makes people fall in and out of love is very logical. Allow me to explain.
Although many people aspire to be more unconditionally loving toward their fellow man, let’s be honest, there are people we like, people we don’t like, people we love, and people we hate. As we meet people throughout our lives, only an extremely small percentage ever win our love. Why is this?
Actually, it’s very simple. We each have our individual needs and desires. When we meet people who fulfill our needs and desires, we like them. If they do a damn good job at it, we fall in love with them. This may make love sound very selfish. Well, there is a good reason for that: love is selfish. If we get what we want, big time, we fall in love (as long as we don’t mind giving back what they want). If we don’t get what we want, or don’t want to give what they want in return, love doesn’t happen.
It’s all very logical. In fact, it can even be expressed as a mathematical formula.
Let’s say a man like me has the following wants in a woman:
1. Nice ass
2. Beautiful face
3. Does not waste his time playing games
4. Does not demand he spend his hard earned money on her
5. Makes interesting conversation
6. Stops making interesting conversation and leaves after sex is over
Then his love formula is:
Nice ass+ Beautiful face+ No games+ Good convo+ No snuggling = Love.
Since this woman doesn’t exist, he hasn’t fallen in love lately.
Let’s say a man like Peter has the following wants in a woman:
1. Nice @ss (hey, great minds think alike)
2. Cute face
3. Highly intelligent
4. Shares mutual interests and outlook on life
5. Gentle disposition devoid of drama
6. Is respectful of Perer’s need to be The Decider
Then Peter’s formula, like Mine’s, is all those things added together = love. Since Peter has met a woman just like this, he is in love.
Therefore, love is not some random event that strikes us when we least expect it. It’s actually quite predictable according to the formula above. When two people meet who match each other’s formula’s, a deep bond will form.
Understanding this formula is critical for keeping relationships strong. So many couples that fall in love end up falling out of it. Half of all couples who get married and take vows to love each other forever not only end up falling out of love, they often become bitter enemies.
The love equation explains this perfectly. When people start out dating, they usually try their best to win the other’s affection. Men are generous with their money, dress their best, shower women with compliments, and try hard to please sexually. Women wear their best outfits, spend extra time on their makeup, laugh at all of his dumb jokes, try to seem impressed with his ‘power job’, and also try hard to please sexually.
After the relationship has been going on for a while, or worse, after marriage, it’s a different story. Now the partners stop trying in the same way they used to. They get lazy and think that their prior feelings or solemn vows will sustain their relationship. This is a fatal mistake.
Once you recognize that love is based on a very logical formula, it should not surprise you that if you stop trying, the person who used to love you won’t any more. If someone fell in love with you because you matched an equation that looked like:
Cute+ In shape+ Fashionable clothes+ Sweet personality+ Hot sex = Love…
But now you are now like:
Plain+ Out of shape+ Frumpy clothes+ Annoying nag+ No sex = Pain in the @ss…
Then I assure you it’s 100% predictable that your relationship will deteriorate and the love will be lost.
Men, you don’t get cut any slack here. If you once matched a formula like:
Handsome+ Buff+ Sharp dresser+ Generous+ Confident leader+ Dominant sex = Love…
But now you are like:
Soft+ Sloppy dresser+ Cheap bastard+ Pussy-whipped + Lame sex = Loser…
Then it’s certain you will be divorced and financing your ex-wife’s trips to Paris with her new lover.
So let’s take the mystery out of love. No more being astounded when the love of your life loses its passion. No more demanding to be loved when you no longer provide what your partner wants. Love is not something you are owed, it is something you earn. If you are in a relationship and want to keep it strong, figure out what your partner values in you and never stop providing it. As long as you match your partner’s love formula, keeping their love is natural and automatic
Hi- any advice would be really encouraging. This is something I know I have to figure out myself, but your sincere input is hugely appreciated.
I’ve been in love and in a relationship for almost 3 years this February. I’m 26 and my boyfriend is the same. We’ve gone through some of the toughest times of our lives together over these 3 years, and were engaged 6 months into the relationship. I slowed things down however, and we post-poned marriage/engagement until we could be in a little bit better place. I felt he needed more time to do some things for himself, and I vice versa. Anyways, I made a choice to be with this man, and I do love him. However, I feel like much of what i do is either help him with his life, school, health- everything- and wait for things to finally develop enough so we can marry. I’ve turned down opportunity after opportunity to break up because no matter how unhappy I get, I just cannot, I mean, CANNOT seem to leave. But I also don’t feel 100% about staying either. I’m drained a lot, and though he loves me, he simply doesn’t have much to give me right now, or maybe, ever. I mean give emotionally as well as provide in other ways. I want to be a team and have a double-income home, and i’m ready, SO ready to start a life and get married. He’s very much interested in marrying me, but, why won’t he? He says he wants to, and that it is his dream and ultimate goal. But he does very little to convey that. He is in school, but still, couldn’t he be more deliberate about making plans with me, or am i being too hard on him? He says he wants to wait until we have enough money to have some amazing wedding because otherwise he would feel bad. But I don’t feel this way. I’m willing to have a modest wedding and start our lives. I don’t want to throw away 3 years, but I don’t want to be falling into an unhappy life. I thought it would be easier to tell if he was the one…He probably isn’t with this much confusion; but, I feel so sick over the loss of what I thought we could have. I don’t know if I have it in me to handle this. I don’t even know what to do- I’m not sure I have enough reason to leave, or stay.
He’s obviously afraid of money and so he’s stalling on setting a date w/ me. But guys- if you wanted to marry a woman and you were financially strapped- what would you convey to her? Wouldn’t you reassure her, and try to show her that you were doing as much as possible to make that happen instead of indefinitely stringing it out? I feel like he’s waiting on ME here, to make all of our plans. But I’m waiting on him. It’s just getting unbearable but again- for some reason I feel like I can’t leave.
I’ve started focusing on my own life a lot more lately, hoping it would not only do me good but also maybe give him a chance to come around. But I just don’t see much of anything; yet he constantly reassures me of his love, etc. I don’t know. I just don’t feel all that desired. Yet, I still want this. I think I do. But not if it means heartache forever. He doesn’t see much wrong with anything- and when I bring it up, I feel I only make him feel hopeless. I want to inspire him- not hurt him. What would you do? Sorry this is so long.
last thing- it seems like he wants this as much as me, but is too afraid to reach out and grab it. When we discuss not being together, I’m telling you it’s just the most devastating thing for both of us. It seems like he really wants this. But I’ve wondered sometimes- is it that he just wants the dream of it- what he thought we might be, or does he really truly want it to the point of making it happen? I am hanging around because I keep believing he will act on his feelings and I want to know I gave him every chance. But he is so consumed with developing his own life and though he tries, he just can’t do much right now. I just don’t know if it’s just circumstances or if he’s not motivated. I really can’t tell. I just feel like I have zero perspective on this.
PLEASE READ…………..I KNOW ITS LONG
I know everyone thinks of love as an emotion, but I have never been the romantic type. To me, love is very logical. No, I don’t mean people behave logically when they are in love. I mean what makes people fall in and out of love is very logical. Allow me to explain.
Although many people aspire to be more unconditionally loving toward their fellow man, let’s be honest, there are people we like, people we don’t like, people we love, and people we hate. As we meet people throughout our lives, only an extremely small percentage ever win our love. Why is this?
Actually, it’s very simple. We each have our individual needs and desires. When we meet people who fulfill our needs and desires, we like them. If they do a damn good job at it, we fall in love with them. This may make love sound very selfish. Well, there is a good reason for that: love is selfish. If we get what we want, big time, we fall in love (as long as we don’t mind giving back what they want). If we don’t get what we want, or don’t want to give what they want in return, love doesn’t happen.
It’s all very logical. In fact, it can even be expressed as a mathematical formula.
Let’s say a man like me has the following wants in a woman:
1. Nice ***
2. Beautiful face
3. Does not waste his time playing games
4. Does not demand he spend his hard earned money on her
5. Makes interesting conversation
6. Stops making interesting conversation and leaves after sex is over
Then his love formula is:
Nice ***+ Beautiful face+ No games+ Good convo+ No snuggling = Love.
Since this woman doesn’t exist, he hasn’t fallen in love lately.
Let’s say a man like Peter has the following wants in a woman:
1. Nice @ss (hey, great minds think alike)
2. Cute face
3. Highly intelligent
4. Shares mutual interests and outlook on life
5. Gentle disposition devoid of drama
6. Is respectful of Perer’s need to be The Decider
Then Peter’s formula, like Mine’s, is all those things added together = love. Since Peter has met a woman just like this, he is in love.
Therefore, love is not some random event that strikes us when we least expect it. It’s actually quite predictable according to the formula above. When two people meet who match each other’s formula’s, a deep bond will form.
Understanding this formula is critical for keeping relationships strong. So many couples that fall in love end up falling out of it. Half of all couples who get married and take vows to love each other forever not only end up falling out of love, they often become bitter enemies.
The love equation explains this perfectly. When people start out dating, they usually try their best to win the other’s affection. Men are generous with their money, dress their best, shower women with compliments, and try hard to please sexually. Women wear their best outfits, spend extra time on their makeup, laugh at all of his dumb jokes, try to seem impressed with his ‘power job’, and also try hard to please sexually.
After the relationship has been going on for a while, or worse, after marriage, it’s a different story. Now the partners stop trying in the same way they used to. They get lazy and think that their prior feelings or solemn vows will sustain their relationship. This is a fatal mistake.
Once you recognize that love is based on a very logical formula, it should not surprise you that if you stop trying, the person who used to love you won’t any more. If someone fell in love with you because you matched an equation that looked like:
Cute+ In shape+ Fashionable clothes+ Sweet personality+ Hot sex = Love…
But now you are now like:
Plain+ Out of shape+ Frumpy clothes+ Annoying nag+ No sex = Pain in the @ss…
Then I assure you it’s 100% predictable that your relationship will deteriorate and the love will be lost.
Men, you don’t get cut any slack here. If you once matched a formula like:
Handsome+ Buff+ Sharp dresser+ Generous+ Confident leader+ Dominant sex = Love…
But now you are like:
Soft+ Sloppy dresser+ Cheap bastard+ Pussy-whipped + Lame sex = Loser…
Then it’s certain you will be divorced and financing your ex-wife’s trips to Paris with her new lover.
So let’s take the mystery out of love. No more being astounded when the love of your life loses its passion. No more demanding to be loved when you no longer provide what your partner wants. Love is not something you are owed, it is something you earn. If you are in a relationship and want to keep it strong, figure out what your partner values in you and never stop providing it. As long as you match your partner’s love formula, keeping their love is natural and automatic
I know everyone thinks of love as an emotion, but I have never been the romantic type. To me, love is very logical. No, I don’t mean people behave logically when they are in love. I mean what makes people fall in and out of love is very logical. Allow me to explain.
Although many people aspire to be more unconditionally loving toward their fellow man, let’s be honest, there are people we like, people we don’t like, people we love, and people we hate. As we meet people throughout our lives, only an extremely small percentage ever win our love. Why is this?
Actually, it’s very simple. We each have our individual needs and desires. When we meet people who fulfill our needs and desires, we like them. If they do a damn good job at it, we fall in love with them. This may make love sound very selfish. Well, there is a good reason for that: love is selfish. If we get what we want, big time, we fall in love (as long as we don’t mind giving back what they want). If we don’t get what we want, or don’t want to give what they want in return, love doesn’t happen.
It’s all very logical. In fact, it can even be expressed as a mathematical formula.
Let’s say a man like me has the following wants in a woman:
1. Nice ***
2. Beautiful face
3. Does not waste his time playing games
4. Does not demand he spend his hard earned money on her
5. Makes interesting conversation
6. Stops making interesting conversation and leaves after sex is over
Then his love formula is:
Nice ***+ Beautiful face+ No games+ Good convo+ No snuggling = Love.
Since this woman doesn’t exist, he hasn’t fallen in love lately.
Let’s say a man like Peter has the following wants in a woman:
1. Nice @ss (hey, great minds think alike)
2. Cute face
3. Highly intelligent
4. Shares mutual interests and outlook on life
5. Gentle disposition devoid of drama
6. Is respectful of Perer’s need to be The Decider
Then Peter’s formula, like Mine’s, is all those things added together = love. Since Peter has met a woman just like this, he is in love.
Therefore, love is not some random event that strikes us when we least expect it. It’s actually quite predictable according to the formula above. When two people meet who match each other’s formula’s, a deep bond will form.
Understanding this formula is critical for keeping relationships strong. So many couples that fall in love end up falling out of it. Half of all couples who get married and take vows to love each other forever not only end up falling out of love, they often become bitter enemies.
The love equation explains this perfectly. When people start out dating, they usually try their best to win the other’s affection. Men are generous with their money, dress their best, shower women with compliments, and try hard to please sexually. Women wear their best outfits, spend extra time on their makeup, laugh at all of his dumb jokes, try to seem impressed with his ‘power job’, and also try hard to please sexually.
After the relationship has been going on for a while, or worse, after marriage, it’s a different story. Now the partners stop trying in the same way they used to. They get lazy and think that their prior feelings or solemn vows will sustain their relationship. This is a fatal mistake.
Once you recognize that love is based on a very logical formula, it should not surprise you that if you stop trying, the person who used to love you won’t any more. If someone fell in love with you because you matched an equation that looked like:
Cute+ In shape+ Fashionable clothes+ Sweet personality+ Hot sex = Love…
But now you are now like:
Plain+ Out of shape+ Frumpy clothes+ Annoying nag+ No sex = Pain in the @ss…
Then I assure you it’s 100% predictable that your relationship will deteriorate and the love will be lost.
Men, you don’t get cut any slack here. If you once matched a formula like:
Handsome+ Buff+ Sharp dresser+ Generous+ Confident leader+ Dominant sex = Love…
But now you are like:
Soft+ Sloppy dresser+ Cheap bastard+ Pussy-whipped + Lame sex = Loser…
Then it’s certain you will be divorced and financing your ex-wife’s trips to Paris with her new lover.
So let’s take the mystery out of love. No more being astounded when the love of your life loses its passion. No more demanding to be loved when you no longer provide what your partner wants. Love is not something you are owed, it is something you earn. If you are in a relationship and want to keep it strong, figure out what your partner values in you and never stop providing it. As long as you match your partner’s love formula, keeping their love is natural and automatic
I am considering getting a sugar daddy. I am well aware that this is something that many people disagree with. I am a moral person with decent values. I am curious to learn about other people in beneficial arrangements. I would appreciate it if I could learn from these people without the comments from people who are extremely closed minded to this type of relationship.
Thanks!
Are you a man who has been in the past or currently is a benefactor to a young woman? If so, I would like to pick your mind.
1.What attracts you to this type of relationship?
2.Are you a compulsive dater? Meaning, after we meet, will you continue to search for a new sugar babe even if I fulfill your every need?
3.What were your favorite activities to do with your sugar babe that did not involve sexual relations?
Are you a sugar baby or have you ever been a sugar babe? If yes, then I have questions for you as well.
1.Are you still in this arrangement? If no, why?
2.After the arrangement ended, did you feel used?
3.What did you benefit from this type of arrangement?
I am considering getting a sugar daddy because…
1.I am 19 years old and I have no intention of getting married anytime soon. So why should I get a “play-friend”, if I can get a sugar daddy?
2.I recently relocated leaving my business career behind to attend college full time. I am craving the business conversations. A sugar daddy relationship attracted me because it would give me the opportunity to pick a successful man’s brain.
3.I am extremely sexual, but I only desire one committed partner.
4.I need help paying for tuition
5.I am not attracted to men my age… Once you have had sex with a man over 30, you can go back to men in their twenties.
6.I feel I have a lot to offer someone.
7.I would like to use the opportunity for networking in the future
Reasons I am scared to go through with it….
1.I don’t want to be viewed as a hooker by my sugar daddy or other people
2.I am scared I will regret it in the future.
The thing is, he is divorced and has two children – ages 6 and 3. He was married 4 years ago, but the woman he was with wasn’t wanting to work or help out around the house – basically just lazy – so he ended up leaving her.
I have dated the career driven, college graduate, have a nice house and car type of guys, and it never works out. It seems like that they care too much about their needs and desires; not mine.
Anyways! I ended up meeting this amazing guy 5 months ago while I was out dancing with friends, and we have been talking to each other discussing what’s important in a relationship, etc. and I have fallen in love with him. We have already talked about it and we know that we are going to get married sooner rather than later.
Well, back to the divorced with kids part – well my parents don’t know and I don’t want officially be this guys girlfriend until I tell them. My parents are divorced, not old school and have met other partners, so I’m thinking they’ll be cool with me telling them that I met someone who has two children – from two different moms.
I’m a college graduate, works full time, never been married and actually I can never have kids because I have endometriosis. So, meeting him was a blessing and I have spent time with his kids and they’re great too. I feel like I was meant for him and him for me.
How would you address your parents about this issue if you were in my shoes? I want to tell them before they start to think that I hid it from them for a bad reason, you know?
These seems to happen to me a lot, I have bad sinus’s and allergies. I just feel that “ooops” is not adequete.
Any suggestions?
I am having a going away party this weekend before I move away for school. I don’t expect presents from the guests, but I know a few of my friends were planning on getting me something. Do I open these presents at the party – this may make those who didn’t get me anything feel bad. Or do I wait until after – the people who bought the presents may think I am ungrateful. Just wondering what the etiquette is here? Thank you.
My Father is the one paying. He has long since divorced my mother and she isn’t paying at all. Just him. What is the correct way to have him on the invitation? Mr. so and so requests your presence ? Or do I put both him and my mother?
It’s in California, darlings, and they are so quaint in their customs. Neither Mrs Beeton nor Fanny Trollope are any help whatsoever.
Bearing in mind they heard it.
My sons best friend just died at the age of 21 in a motorcycle accident. He has been my sons friend since they were toddlers. They are Catholic. He was always at my home. I was very close to him, but not so much his mother. No bad feelings, just didn’t hang out. I left my husband a year ago and my son hasn’t talked much to me since. I am not sure what to do. I went to the funeral today, hugged my son and the boys brothers and mother. She mummbled to me that she appreciated the fact that he was taken care of much of the time at my home. However she was very distraught and may not have even known I was there. Anyhow, Do I cook her something? How long do I wait to visit? I know a lot depends on certain things, that’s why I’ve given as many details as I can. How long do I give my son to grieve in silence before I approach him again? Any help would be much appreciated.
What is the correct thing to do if someone such as the Queen of England or perhaps the Pope, or a Head of State, or any such person of great stature fots?
I am a Buddhist Boy Scout working on the Sangha Award.One of the requirements is to :
Explain and demonstrate correct etiquette and procedures before the shrine, including gassho, used of meditation beads (juzu), incense burning, etc; and give the symbolic significance of each.
I am looking on the internet but I am not finding the answers.
What would you consider to be the correct changing room etiquette? Im fine with getting naked in front of other gus say its at the gym etc. but some people i know get v uptight bout it, what do you think?
in the toilet at a friends wedding reception. I’m wondering if I should issue an apology as part of my best man’s speech or if I should just single out some random guest and spread a rumor to cover my own perfidy.
I was in Next yesterday, and this woman jumped in the queue in front of me – I didn’t say anything but I was so angry with myself for not saying something. I was in that ‘can’t be bothered with anything’ mood. So my question is what’s the correct etiquette, bearing in mind this woman was a bonafide chav?
Lol, I can’t stand chavs but what about in general? But then again, chavs are socially retarded.
Happened to me this morning. I was trying so hard not to have a look, I think it was obvious because I kept looking at the celiling and over her shoulder and couldn’t concentrate on what she was saying. Should I have had a quick look to get it over with, and would she have minded? Maybe women are just used to it
Is there just one kiss from the man? one kiss each? or maybe no kiss at all (i.e. just cheek contact and mwaaah!)?
For friends and aquaintances (just to clarify).
Sometimes if you are seated somewhere in public where the chairs are close together eg waiting room, theatre, the guy next to you (a stranger) will sit with his legs so far apart that they are pressed against you.
Is this territorial, some statement of his manhood, or he just wants to be pressed up against you?
And what is the correct etiquette? Do you give in and sit in an uncomfortable position, conceding him the territory, or do you stand your ground and leave your leg pressed against him?
and a bogey hanging from her nose?
I have been invited by a close friend to his son’s christening.
How should I word the RSVP to say I’m am going? Or if I wasn’t going?
Do I need to buy them a gift for the baby?
Thanks.
I’m applying to a college and have an appointment with the DEAN today. They announced today that the entire college is closed as of 11am due to the weather. My meeting is at 1. Should I just go and see if he’s there? Do I send an email or phone call and tell them that I can’t make it? What to do? I don’t want to make a bad impression.
What is the correct etiquette for this.
you r rude, actually I am mute AND CAN’ TALK.
I am a male by the way. I always feel a lot comfortable crossing my left foot onto my right. Is this proper? Should I just have both flat on the ground? Thank you! =)
Like talking on a cell phone in the middle of a movie or cutting in line.
What should one do in this situation? And what if the unfortunate incident includes ingesting the said false vittal?
This is the grave of a close relative who (although I never had ill feelings toward) didn’t see eye to eye with at the end of her life. What sort of floral tribute should I bring, and what sort of message could I write in the card?
I have returned from my semi-annual beaver hunting expedition (and boy is my w****r sore) successful in my hunt. I come bearing gifts of exotic fluffins and hamster ivory. Will the female minions form a line to the right and male ones to the left please.
you pull him over and tell him the situation?
are the bride and groom expected to pay for flight and hotel?
what kind of responsibility is expected?
I rarely see my friend and never hear from her daughter. She also has a younger sibling at home (12 ish) that I do buy for
I rarely see my friend and never hear from her daughter. She also has a younger sibling at home (12 ish) that I do buy for
I am going to have a weddig in california.Also I am part Japaneese and want to have a somewhat traditiional wedding in Japan with my relatives, if I have two weddings do I envite everyone to both?
are the bride and groom expected to pay for flight and hotel?
what kind of responsibility is expected?
I share a back yard fence with my neighbor. He wants me to pay for half of replacement, even though I have the back side face of the fence. Replacement is due to age, not damage by either party.
do you eat the bowl?
A friend of mine has ordered this as part of a Christmas meal and is now wondering how to eat it. My guess was to just eat the lid?? and another friend says you do eat the bowl but what is the correct way to eat this please?
Many thanks in advance xx
The night before the wedding the bride or groom tells you they are getting cold feet/do not love their prospective spouse/are not ready for marriage/whatever. You tell them to call off the wedding but they do not want to disappoint their families/friends. You know they will be making a huge mistake if they go through with the wedding.
Would it be wrong to tell their prospective spouse their feelings considering you would be protecting them both? Or do you let them learn by themselves?
I could not stand by and watch my friend get married knowing they are making the biggest mistake of their life.
What if it is more than cold feet?
Should it be done when the home team is batting or in the field? Does it really have a positive effect on the performance of the home team?
A friend got an erection and was wondering what masseuses thought of it. He said he couldn’t help it, what are you supposed to do?
My partner and I have been invited by our boss and his wife to their house for drinks (and I think some food) this evening along with some other colleagues. I have only met the man once as I am off on maternity leave and he started after I finished. My partner works closely with him as the host is his line manager. Should we take along a gift if so any suggestions?
There is a girl that i’m fairly sure likes me, The only problem being that she has a boyfriend. She stops by just to say hi to me, she calls me a pet name, and seems to enjoy my company. What should i do? Just be a good friend, or be more agressive than that?
I am invited to a couple who are renewing their vows. They will be married 25 years. This will be done in a church setting and they will have a reception I believe. Do you bring gifts? What is the proper etiquett?
I have a bunch of teachers and family friends in hard times and I want to share my graduation with them without them feeling obligated to send a gift. What is the correct or formal way to inoffensively let them off the hook?
Thanks!
For example, I forgot to take my head scarf off in church a few weeks ago and my sister-in-law quickly told me that was inappropriate. I told her I was looking for a place to stuff it.
Being introduced socially to a woman, should a man kiss them on the cheek or the other way around, or not at all?
UK ANSWERS ONLY please.
Kiss her hand? Are you sure? Do you live in UK?
I am finishing up my job duties here at the University and tomorrow is my last day. I didn’t get fired, nor did I quit, the funding is done and I am done. It’s also our christmas party tomorrow, and I was wondering if I should be getting my supervisor, or the Program itself something for allowing me to stay on as long as I did? Suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
That website didn’t help me.
Whilst there are ways and means of doing so, I have always considered it to be poor etiquette to correct someone if their pronunciation of a word is incorrect and indeed if their written word is incorrect. My English can be far from perfect however on the occassions I have been corrected I have found it to be rude. Is it ill-mannered to correct someone?
The invitation includes a guest. But, for various reasons, it isn’t convenient to bring one. So, would it still be etiquette to attend alone. Or, invited to bring a guest, should the invitee really bring one to be polite?
After seeing the topless photographs of Wife Swap gargoyle Lizzie Bardsley, is it proper etiquette to remove your own eyes with a small silver fork or burn them out with a strong acid?
5 people walking towards the bus stop, 5 people, 40 yer old mum and her 2 kids 911 and 8) 2 young women ( betwen 16-20) the 2 kids sit down quickly and the 2 young people, the woman is standing up. Who should give up the seat for the 40 year old?
My fiance and I are getting married next year. I live in TX, but I was born in PA. We’re having the wedding at my church in PA but I want to include some of my closest friends that I work with in TX. What is the proper etiquette about paying for wedding guests. Do they pay for their own airfare and we cover the hotel?
I saw Sean Hannity addressing Sarah Palin as Governor and wondered if that was correct etiquette?
For instance when King Edward VIII abdicated from the British throne I am sure no-one addressed him King Edward anymore, he was known as the Duke of Windsor. I wonder if resigning the post makes it not to correct to address someone as that title, but if one serves the term it is OK?
I have been in the Army for about 8 years and I know that my job has sometimes been to blame my lack there of committed relationships in my life. The last real relationship I was in ended because of the fact that I was getting deployed. I dont think I have ever been in love. And I find that i am closing myself off more. I am a very focused person and am usually really busy with school and my job, but I know of a lot of people with busy lives that have enriching relationships. I generally am always dating someone and I have been single for about a year and a half; and many tell me that I intimidate men and that is why noone really approaches me. What is wrong with me?
How many days in advance is the correct etiquette? He seems mean and I dont want to upset him. Is 2 weeks in advance bad etiquette?
He doesn’t have office hours so you need not suggest I go then.
====>10 PTS FOR THE #1 ANSWER FOLKS! <=====
Only sent a few out in the past and wondered what the correct etiquette is.
I know everyone thinks of love as an emotion, but I have never been the romantic type. To me, love is very logical. No, I don’t mean people behave logically when they are in love. I mean what makes people fall in and out of love is very logical. Allow me to explain.
Although many people aspire to be more unconditionally loving toward their fellow man, let’s be honest, there are people we like, people we don’t like, people we love, and people we hate. As we meet people throughout our lives, only an extremely small percentage ever win our love. Why is this?
Actually, it’s very simple. We each have our individual needs and desires. When we meet people who fulfill our needs and desires, we like them. If they do a damn good job at it, we fall in love with them. This may make love sound very selfish. Well, there is a good reason for that: love is selfish. If we get what we want, big time, we fall in love (as long as we don’t mind giving back what they want). If we don’t get what we want, or don’t want to give what they want in return, love doesn’t happen.
It’s all very logical. In fact, it can even be expressed as a mathematical formula.
Let’s say a man like me has the following wants in a woman:
1. Nice ***
2. Beautiful face
3. Does not waste his time playing games
4. Does not demand he spend his hard earned money on her
5. Makes interesting conversation
6. Stops making interesting conversation and leaves after sex is over
Then his love formula is:
Nice ***+ Beautiful face+ No games+ Good convo+ No snuggling = Love.
Since this woman doesn’t exist, he hasn’t fallen in love lately.
Let’s say a man like Peter has the following wants in a woman:
1. Nice @ss (hey, great minds think alike)
2. Cute face
3. Highly intelligent
4. Shares mutual interests and outlook on life
5. Gentle disposition devoid of drama
6. Is respectful of Perer’s need to be The Decider
Then Peter’s formula, like Mine’s, is all those things added together = love. Since Peter has met a woman just like this, he is in love.
Therefore, love is not some random event that strikes us when we least expect it. It’s actually quite predictable according to the formula above. When two people meet who match each other’s formula’s, a deep bond will form.
Understanding this formula is critical for keeping relationships strong. So many couples that fall in love end up falling out of it. Half of all couples who get married and take vows to love each other forever not only end up falling out of love, they often become bitter enemies.
The love equation explains this perfectly. When people start out dating, they usually try their best to win the other’s affection. Men are generous with their money, dress their best, shower women with compliments, and try hard to please sexually. Women wear their best outfits, spend extra time on their makeup, laugh at all of his dumb jokes, try to seem impressed with his ‘power job’, and also try hard to please sexually.
After the relationship has been going on for a while, or worse, after marriage, it’s a different story. Now the partners stop trying in the same way they used to. They get lazy and think that their prior feelings or solemn vows will sustain their relationship. This is a fatal mistake.
Once you recognize that love is based on a very logical formula, it should not surprise you that if you stop trying, the person who used to love you won’t any more. If someone fell in love with you because you matched an equation that looked like:
Cute+ In shape+ Fashionable clothes+ Sweet personality+ Hot sex = Love…
But now you are now like:
Plain+ Out of shape+ Frumpy clothes+ Annoying nag+ No sex = Pain in the @ss…
Then I assure you it’s 100% predictable that your relationship will deteriorate and the love will be lost.
Men, you don’t get cut any slack here. If you once matched a formula like:
Handsome+ Buff+ Sharp dresser+ Generous+ Confident leader+ Dominant sex = Love…
But now you are like:
Soft+ Sloppy dresser+ Cheap bastard+ Pussy-whipped + Lame sex = Loser…
Then it’s certain you will be divorced and financing your ex-wife’s trips to Paris with her new lover.
So let’s take the mystery out of love. No more being astounded when the love of your life loses its passion. No more demanding to be loved when you no longer provide what your partner wants. Love is not something you are owed, it is something you earn. If you are in a relationship and want to keep it strong, figure out what your partner values in you and never stop providing it. As long as you match your partner’s love formula, keeping their love is natural and automatic
We met online and totally fall for eachother. After a long distance relationship of about 4 months, we got married. I know that’s crazy but we’re both insecure, past our teenage years & none of us wanted to risk it. The sex was ok when we first met & spent about 11 days together. I mean, we’re both eager to please & from a sexually repressed background thus didn’t think it mattered that much. Maybe we didn’t even wanna find out, were too scared. Now we are 3 months into the marriage & we just wanna watch movies, kiss & go to sleep; which is bothering me big time. I mean wasn’t this supposed to be the time in which we can’t keep our hands off eachother? What next, right?! Or are we going through the “dating” stage? If so, what is going to happen if we found out that we aren’t THAT sexually attracted to eachother? Or are we NOT sexually attracted to eachother at all. If so, what shall i do? I know he can have sex every night if he put his mind to it but not so easy for me. Help!!!
Over the period of time her attitude has changed a lot. She is a control freak, monitors my cellphone messages and dialled numbers every day when i come home from office. Always keeps on complaining that i do not give enough time to her, i work strenous night shifts like 6 pm – 5 am in the morning in a MNC which gives me very less time for us to talk in the mornings as i am stressed out by the time i reach home. She prepares breakfast for me in the morning, post which i go to sleep. Its not that i do not talk however she likes me to have sweet talks like the ones which every boy does during the courtship. All she wants me to do talk lovingly all the time of the day. She has hypo thyroid and gets irritated at the slightest argument that we have which ends up in a big fight and me at the receiving end as i do not retaliate most of the times keeping in mind that it will upset her further. However it is taking a toll on my stress level making me more and more frustrated each day making me think of getting a separation as i cannot bear this any further. I am open minded and talk to girls as freely as i talk to any of my male friends. However my wife feels that i should avoid talking to girls as it makes her feel uncomfortable. I dont spend time with my friends anymore and spend the weekends with my wife. I even suggested her to join me with my friends however she is not agreeing to this option. I used to hang out with my friends a lot before marriage which has made me a loner as i hate to sit at home watching TV and sitting on my laptop for hours watching movies…i don’t know what else to say but please advise?
@ jasmine – i have no qualms if she talks to any of her male friends….as i know it is OK for a person to have friends both male and female…and it sometimes seem different as you share a comfort level while talking to your friends unlike with your partner…..
Well I am a man that has a broken heart. I was very hurt by my ex wife. She cheated on me over and over for about 8 years, 4 years not married and 4 married. She left me and my two sons 8 years ago, they are now 11 and13. Their was a step-son that was dropped off to his father that was never there for him. I accepted him like my own, even tho she threw it in my face all the time that he was not mine.No contact with them at all. She call me once in a blue moon to ask how they are doing, but not talk to them.
I just separated with my g’f of 3 years a month ago. I was scared to marry and used all kind of excuses not to marry her. I bottle up all the time and didn’t express my feelings. This was our main problem and I realize it. I worked all the time to support us. She wanted to go to school and I told her don’t worry about the bills, cause I got it. I loved her and her kids like they was my own.We had children from prior marriages, she had three and I had 2. All boys. She started back to church again 11 months ago after being off from it 2 something years. She said she felt convicted, cause we was not married. I realize that now. But she also is very angry and throw thing I did not do. I realize that what I did and it is a two way street two, she did her share that made me feel certain ways.
Well I started church a month ago and she left 2 days after that. I went to both services. The messages I got out of them, I felt they did it cause I was there. It hit me like nothing else before. I am in my mid 30′s (she is 30 years old) and have not had a church up bringing (I been only a couple times). For the first time I felt the message. I went back the next day to ask to be saved. Well the funny thing is that in this time, things that are happen to me I can not explain. I have never felt like this before in my life. I started to relize thing about my relationship. Things I did in my past before her that I sinned for was flashing before my eye. I had no burnding on my shoulders. Some reason I forgave my ex wife for what she did and other that did to me. I stopped cussing with out a thought (my kids realized that). I was not scared to marry anymore (weird). I felt deep down in my heart that I wanted to marry her. When I had bad days I talked to her and she was having a hard time that day, it was like I felt her pain (weird). I asked her to marry me and got no answer back other then the next day she is not ready to come back yet. That day I turned the radio on in my truck for the first time to listen to a christian channel and it was about how a man and woman suppose to smit to each other (weird) Things like this is happening to me.
The other day I was walking and felt hurt and to santin to get out of our lives and leave us alone. I started to sing and this hymm in my head was playing. This is the funny thing that freaked me out was that one of my favorite scrips that I goto is when Peter walked on water. The hymm that was in my head was Love lifted me. Last not I looked that song up and for the first time I realize that that scrip and that song was tied together. It freaked me out. We talk alittle about the bible and got on the subject of free will and she said we had none and I knew we did have a choice of right or wrong. Also we talked about letting go the past and she said it is hard to. I told her read Mat 6:14 and 15 about forgiveness. I don’t understand she wanted me to commit to her and God and I did. The Commiting to God blow me away cause I can not explain what is happening to me. I thought I try it and man it is amazon. She moved away from here so she can not witness this.
Today I am having a bad day. The day started great and around 10 o’clock I felt like crawling in a corner and dying. I feel so much doubt in my furture. I feel like life is not worth it anymore. Awful feeling. I don’t know if it is her pain that she is feeling, but it is that most awfullest feeling. My heart hurt so bad. I feel like I am chasing a dead end with her like my ex. She wants us to give our selves to God and see what he has planned for us. She say things like I am not ready to come back and who knows what the future brings. Things are not going for her llike she thought. No money, almost homeless with her kids. I feel that I can not live with out her. I have lost all hope today. I know God got plans for me, but this woman is what my heart desires. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel that I am torn between have faith in us or letting her go so I focus on Jesus more. I am doing both but days like bring me way down. I start counciling on Sept 2nd to help me and my boys. I got them involved in church as well. I go as much as I can. I read the bible everyday and for the first time I love to read. I hated to read anything all my life. Sorry this is so long, but I am in pain and have nobody to really turn to right this min. Thanks for reading.
Sun in Gemini, Moon in Sagittarius • Ascendant in Leo, Sun in the Tenth House • Moon in the Fifth House • Saturn in the Sixth House • Sun in the Tenth House • Venus in the Eleventh House
These are the details i got recently…
can someone tell me about my life,future,relationships etc………
Sun in Gemini, Moon in Sagittarius • Ascendant in Leo, Sun in the Tenth House • Moon in the Fifth House • Saturn in the Sixth House • Sun in the Tenth House • Venus in the Eleventh House
These are the details i got recently…
can someone tell me about my life,future,relationships etc………
i’m a gemini:)
22.5.89
and of course
ma education!!! i’m in 3rd year engeneering
do tell something abt it too.
THANKYOU!!
My husband says I should be happy that he’s home instead of out in clubs or at the bar. Only thing is we have 2 kids one 2 1/2 and one 4 months. I take care of them all by myself as he sits for HOURS just playing his game constantly. When we are planning to go somewhere it takes us hours to even leave the house because he will not get off the game and he’ll sit playing the game while I’m left to get myself and the Kids ready while he relaxes! Most times it makes me so mad I don’t even want to go anymore. When I ask him for help he dosen’t help me because he plays xbox 360 online and says he can’t pause. Playing with him dosen’t work at all! One I don’t have time to sit and play games I have 2 small children to take care of. I always try doing the things he likes and he never goes out of his way to do the things I like with me. And I am honestly tired of feeling that I have to beg someone to spend time with me… it really is a horrible feeling! I went back to work right away after having my 2 1/2 y/o daughter but since having my son I haven’t worked. He tells me I should just go back to work and then I’ll feel better cause I won’t have to spend all my time with the kids(which isn’t my problem I LOVE spending time with them, he’s the one who has the problem). But we’ve been through that before when I worked before he told me I should quit and then I would have more time to do everything. I’m not sure what to do in this sitution because I truly believe that he just doesn’t care and I feel stupid that I countine to be in a relationship with someone who has no desire to help me with his kids or acknowldge me as his wife. Outside of the bedroom… when he decides to come to sleep after playing till sometime 3-4am I feel that we barely communicate. I think he’s being very childish and selfish and I really don’t know how to get through to him. I totally agree with the another post I read about finding yourself and before I had my son, my daughter and I would go places alone all the time because I got so tired of waiting for him to get off the the xbox. Now it just isn’t so easy taking a infant and a toddler along. We live very far from my family and friends (across the country) I don’t know anyone and most days he is the only person I have to talk to but he’s always busy playing his game. I relize I need time away from him and would love to do things ALONE but he won’t get off the game to watch his kids either. Even when I’m in the shower and the baby starts to cry if he’s on his game he won’t stop playing he’ll just let him scream. I’ll have to get out of the shower. I’m so hurt, angry, confused. Not sure if I’m asking too much, should I be happy or are these resonable requests? Most days I don’t even want to stay with him bacause of this and when I try to talk to him he treats it like it’s no big deal. He makes it seem like I’m crazy and other women don’t have problems like this… he always says I’m asking like a little girl and these are high school things. I would really Love to hear what others thought about this situation… and this really dosen’t even seem to be everything. I want my marriage to work… we have two small kids together but I’m really not sure what to do anymore or if this is even a reason to split.
Hello
I´m normal and straight and all. I have a good work and girlfriend since 6 years and even she is now pregnant. I love her and we intend to have a wedding.
The problem is. I have a foot fetish since I was a child and I turn on when I see women in high heels or women to crush or trample something. I don’t know how this came from. I don’t have great sex experience and my sexual self confidence is not very high. I am afraid about the last of my turn on, about the size est. When I am at home and I thing about women’s legs I easily turn on but when I am with a girl it is difficult. At the beginning of my relationship with my girlfriend kept my fetish as a secret and during sex with her I was thinking for the high heels of a woman that I have seen during the last days. This was working for many years but since 2years we started to make sex not so often and the pleasure was not so good for both. Then I shared my secret with her but there was not positive effect. I can not accept her as a woman that I imagine watching the clips in internet and I hardly turn on. So I am feeling very bad about this because I love her and I want to get married to her. My desire is to reset myself and to get rid of my fetish. I also tried to test with another girl but I was not satisfied either. I didn’t like to practice anything of the things I was watching in internet. I feel that the problem is in my mind and when I have to turn on something blocks me.
Another thing. I guess I have OCD and obtrusive thoughts that additionally makes me feel bad.
As a result of everything I am very depressed now.
Before I was funny guy, very open and strong, but now I am very sensitive, I have a lot of fears, everybody can easily to harm my spirit, I find the negative thing in everything. I feel like it is boring when I am with my girlfriend and I try to go somewhere autside home every freeday. When I ask her about her feeling she says that she is fine. Probably this is a result of the depression. My self confidence is very bad even I have achieved a lot. I mean education, profession, house, car and family. But I don’t feel good.
Few reasons that maybe are unlocked the OCD, the obtrusive thoughts and the depression are that my father past away when I was a child. Now my mother is sick, the stress in my work is very high because I sell very difficult product and I make projects alone without colleagues in my country and the pressure from my Boss is very big. But I am good in my work.
I would be very happy if somebody can help me with some experiences and advice
Thanks
Psychoanalysts suggest that men’s gender identity is very fragile because, within typical child-rearing practices, girls can identify with their primary care-taker while boys have to separate themselves from their mother in order to achieve and assert their.masculinity.
‘The whole process of becoming masculine is at risk in the little boy from the date of his birth on; his still-to-be-created masculinity is endangered by the primary, profound, primeval oneness with the mother.’6 It is only by setting woman apart as Other, by resisting intimacy with her, by treating her with contempt and aggression, that men assert their own independent and fragile masculinity.
And because men have distanced themselves from ‘the weaker sex’ over the ages, setting themselves up as superior, it must be unbearably humiliating to need and desire women so much. Sex with women can re-evoke in men ‘the unqualified, boundless, helpless passion of infancy. …
If he lets her, she can shatter his adult sense of power and control; she can bring out the soft, wild, naked baby in him’.
In heterosexual intercourse men risk discovering in women an unsettling power which contradicts and undermines their own more obvious social, political and physical power. No wonder male sexual desire is so desperately tormented and full of conflict.
Because women know men to be vulnerable and fragile, they are often tempted to excuse them as ‘just little boys’ who need to over-compensate for their sense of inadequacy or ‘womb-envy’ with acts of spiteful misogyny. Female nurturing is presented as the solution to male violence – as though women haven’t been doing that for centuries. Germaine Greer once commented that ‘women have very little idea of how much men hate them’. For it is painful to confront the extent of men’s hatred. But only when both men and women acknowledge its existence, its extent and its pervasiveness, can we act to end it. .
Source and whole article:
http://www.newint.org/issue212/hate.htm
Hey guys,
I’m having a personal dilemma, which is really eating away at me. I’ve been with my girl for 7 years and it has for the most part been an amazing relationship, anyone in a long term relationship knows that you have your ups and downs right.
I thought i was maybe going through a period where i was feeling a bit crap about the whole relationship thing, this is something that generally passes, then you look at your partner and see why you are with them and why you have been together so long.
This doesn’t seem to be happening, we have lived together for almost 6 years now, we recently moved into a new place, so there has been a lot of things up in the air and i totally understand that her thoughts are elsewhere and i have a lot on my plate at the moment too with work etc.
So, we are dealing with a lot of stuff, getting settled in a new place, also a new city, meant to add that! We both have good friends here so it’s not just us, we can go and do things with friends, we are not tripping over each other all the time.
She is my best friend as you can imagine, we know every little detail about each other, but one of the major issues throughout our relationship has been… you guessed it, sex. Now i hear all you ladies groaning with displeasure at that comment, but our intimate relationship has never been tip top and that i think has slowly eaten away at me over the years. I have had sexual partners before meeting my gf, and same with her. I understand that her libido just isn’t that strong, where as in return my libido i’d say is normal to high. When we do have sex, she is not very adventurous, i.e. missionary or bust. I have worked on this over our relationship, i enjoy spending time building up to the occasion, nice meal, music, candles, massage and so on which can make it a very special and close encounter however this happens maybe once or twice a month! The evenings are definetly a no go area unless it my birthday lol. Sunday’s seem to be the day of choice and that’s because she can relax. I appreciate this and we have discussed this on several occasions, it does improve maybe for a week or so, then goes back to normal.
Well, recently as things have progressed in a relationship, talk of marraige, children, etc.. i always thought that this was the woman for me, i thought that the sex thing was not worth getting to hung up on as she is amazing in every other sense. Alas, this seems like it’s going to be the undoing of the relationship, just to re-iterate, we have spoke about this on several occasions to try and work it out. I have become much more patient and she has tried to get more in the mood.
I recently ordered an engagement ring, 5 weeks ago, and this got me thinking…. i am not scared of commitment, of being with one person for the rest of my life, having kids, and so on. But i am scared of not having sex!
What i am about to say next i will be damned for but here goes, in the last 2 weeks i have met someone who i really connect with, this is not a sexual thing, we have been texting, talking a lot on the phone, i have seen her a few times, cinema, out for a meal, museum visits. It has been very exciting and new. She has made it clear that she wants to spend more time with me and i really like her, so i am caught in a dilemma. O yeah, she does know i am in a long term relationship.
Now, you may think, aha, this is a commitment issue, he’s just bought a ring etc. worried about no sex for the rest of his life lol. You may be right to a certain extent, but, i genuinly am taken by this girl, she is funny, intelligent, pretty and is really interested in me.
So back to reality, i am living with my gf, i do care for her and love her, but possibly not like i used to. We share a flat, lots of possessions,friends, savings, and i love her family. Am i about to make the biggest mistake of my life and give all that up? Am i being mad staying in a relationship where i feel it’s not working entirely, or should i work at it? How will it work breaking up and still living in the same flat(she wouldn’t be able to afford it on her own)? I want to explore my feelings for this other person but not while i’m with someone, the grass is always greener, yes, however, in this case it is!or is it? that’s what i don’t know???
So, my head is firmly up my rear end, i’m torn in two, life can’t go on like this, i have to act on something, but i don’t know what. It is times like this i realise that i’m just human. Should i just find a nice high bridge to jump off of?
I just want to say thank you to everyone who has responded to my dilemma. I appreciate every comment. I have read each one with an open mind and it really does help put things in perspective. I know that the person i have met is not just a piece of ‘new’ ass, lol, and i do know what gets my gf going, we have been together long enough to know what turns eachother on. I don’t want this to just be about my current sex life although reading through my post again it does come across like that. It does go deeper, (no pun intended). I don’t know if i’m scared of comittment? I am a sappy little bugger, i can see a life with kids, a house and so on. I just don’t know if i can see it anymore with my current gf
To make a few things clear before I begin: my fiancé and I both have a university education, I come from a non-traditional family and very liberal background/mentality, I am not nor have I ever been religiou (and he is not religious either, though he was raised religious), I am faithful, honest, open, sexual, and confident. Our sex life is rather often (roughly 6-9 times a week) and there are no intimacy issues or trust issues. I know what strip clubs are like – we have full nude ones since we are in Canada – as I’ve been to several (with him).
Now for the issue:
My fiancé and I have been together for nearly 7 years. In the first year of our relationship, he went to a friend’s bachelor party at a strip club. I tried to be okay with it, convincing myself and him at first that I was just jealous that I didn’t get to go and join in on the fun. A while later, it was still eating at me and I realized that I am simply not okay with him going to a strip club at all without me there. I believe it’s fine if we are together and using that sexually charged environment for our own benefit as a couple who is about to go home and get it on, but I do not enjoy the idea of him doing this by himself. I clarified this revelation to him and he agreed that this would not be an issue.
Fast forward to 6 years later and about 18 months after our engagement. I am a student so our wedding is still another year and a half off, since I’m finishing my degree first. Shortly after our engagement, his best man made a comment to me that he intended on Vegas for the bachelor party, but not to say anything to the groom. I was not okay with this idea, so I told the groom and he fully agreed that he also did not like the idea and would have to say something to the best man without him finding out that I snitched. I thought this was all in keeping with the “no strip club” mutual agreement, until recently when I felt that perhaps we weren’t on the same page (he had made the offhand comment about how he wasn’t in control of his bachelor party and it was not for him but for his friends anyhow so he would have to “go along” with whatever they wanted) so I brought it up again to be sure since these excuses sounded like a subversive cloud covering his own desire to go. Well, a huge fight came out and he said I had changed and had become “controlling” and “what was the big deal, he wouldn’t get a lap dance, it was only entertainment, it’s what guys do, it’s tradition, etc,” and all the other excuses that are irrational and mean absolutely nothing to someone of intelligence and self-dignity.
I went through each possible excuse and rebutted with logic and a plea for compassion, love, and respect. He said he wouldn’t go, solely for the reason that he saw it hurt me and didn’t wish to hurt me, yet he didn’t agree with any of my reasons why. I admitted that this simply wasn’t good enough. Adter all, I had been with him for several years and had done the “is he really the one?” crap in the beginning. I had known back then that I couldn’t marry someone who disagreed with me on this subject, and when he wasn’t that guy, I decided he was right for me. Now, even though he wasn’t going to go, he had still somehow changed, somehow become someone I’d not bother going on that next date with if we were still in the early stages (don’t get me wrong, this is pretty much the only issue, he’s great in all other aspects). I told him I needed more than just a blind agreement. Disagreeing on such a huge moral question, yet merely accepting the other person’s point of view for their sake does not a healthy relationship – or marriage – make. After a lot more arguing, he finally decided to research online what other women felt about this “no strip club” thing, and ONLY THEN was he willing to concede that I was right and that maybe, just maybe, he was wrong in this. Yet this was after taking into account what he called “the hindsight of women who had let the groom go, but then regretted it after.” His change of opinion doesn’t feel very sincere since, on top of not respecting any of the reasons I had given him already, I don’t get why he doesn’t understand my hindsight from the first one he went to 6 years ago. That IS hindsight. If I had known beforehand what I knew after, I would have talked to him then. Why didn’t he get anything I said?
Anyhow, he still finds it “not normal” of me, and I fully get the feeling he still thinks of me as “too conservative or prudish” in this issue. I think that makes him a douchebag. I love him, and we are great together, but this really REALLY bothers me – we are talking major dealbreaker – and I don’t feel that excited about getting married anymore because I’m not sure if he is being fully sincere about his viewpoint now, or if he’s just faking it because he KNOWS I’LL LEAVE HIM if he doesn’t agree with me on this. How can I be with someone so wishy-washy over a serious moral debate like this? What
Hi, how are you doing? I would really appreciate if you read thru my story and maybe give me a advice that would better advance my chances with this women. Let me first tell you little about myself and then I will lay things out for u so you can make a better determination and give me a better advice. I’m 25 yrs, I work as a pharm tech, I live near Detroit Area. I have my own everything I usually take good care of myself, Look always fresh, I dress sharp and stay busy with myself to look my best. One thing I find myself always to like and even into “OLDER WOMEN”.
I’m going tale you the story now like 2 years ago, I was on a online dating site, I found this one lady (52 Years old) that I looked at her pics (SIMPLE PICS) and I paused for like 30 sec. I started to chat with her we started chatting and just general things then as the chatting went on thru the weeks and even the month I told her how I like her presence, her being around, her elegance… etc. thats all we still online after these 6 months I asked for her number , she gave me her number so I called like 2-3 weeks after I usually call her once every 10 days as a average at the most 4 times a month.
So I called her the first time after those 6 months (from chatting online) and she was nice, I liked talking to her, she tells me about her life with her daughter, son , that she moved recently to this new appt, what she cooked , the weather how she hates the cold and likes it when its sunny …etc,
I give her a call every like 10 days sometimes she calls me back and sometimes she calls me on her own but u know not too often . So as we talked I asked her out to a nice restaurant and we agreed on a day after work, we went to this first time out , we had to wait for avi seats so we chatted a lil in the waiting room, after that we ordered the food , ate, and had my vodka and she ordered 2 glasses of wine. As we were eating we were talking and I told her how its long past due for us to get together how, she was saying how she thinks I take good care of her I smile and pay her attention and honestly I love to pay her attention . BUT not all over her don’t get me wrong but always treated like a lady, I know that she noticed that because she told me it. After we ate I gave her a ride to her daughter’s houseas she was about to exit my car she gives me a hug , good night and she puts her two fingers on her lips and she tells me kiss and she smiles it happened that we kissed but just kissed meaning firmly (on the lips ).
After this date we got in touch with each other , I didn’t change anything in any manner I kept on calling as often as I call once every 10 days , check on her , joke with her , compliment her even tell her how pleased I was to have her around, SO its been over 9 months since we went out on this date , But thru these 9 months nothing has changed I call her /she calls we talk I try to set something up, she is somehow busy with work and just her life. So I have known this lady for a total of 2 years @ LEAST and still I can’t advance things with her .
HERE ARE MY FOLLOWING QUESTION:
How do u think I should approach this women ? ( I REALLY TRIED, Still calling her for two years,asked her out , went out she still don’t get it )
How do I take it to the next level ? ( BEEN TWO YEARS I REALLY TRIED )
How can I get her to open up and talk to me ? (she wont tell me about her romance life , passion, sexual, intimate, cuddly thing )
How can I let her know what I really want only her and I desire her age ?
How can I let her know that I like her ?
Do you think she knows that I like her ?
How can I find out if she likes/dislike age thing ? if it’s a issue/ not issue for here ?? ? ?
I been talking with this women for two years just tell me why she has been talking to me for this long ? ( I believe has to be a reason )
I mean what is it that yet I didn’t try or do ?
Sorry to make u read all this but really Look its complicated ?
What does God do, when a women is being stabbed to death in her own home infront of her 11 year old daughter. They say we have 6 guadian angels, why not make it 6 thousand if they are just going to stand there.
I really want to know your thoughts, I am pissed at God for allowing these things to happen. Tell me, where the F is he when we need him the most.
Serving Jesus- Well thought out answer, still doesn’t help. “Ye though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no eveil for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me”. The life that God gave to that little girl is now ruined.
Long read, so have patience. I have to include certain details.
In my last relationship (year ago), I took out a loan the person I was dating at the time so she could get a car. Earlier this year, the ex left word that she was moving back to the mother land and would keep paying like she had been. She asked for the title and I gave it to her.I had no reason not to trust her honestly since she had been paying so I gave it to her. 4 months and no contact with the ex. All forms of contact are uselss so I concluded I had been dooped and left with the remaing balance. (sucks when you help someone out only to have them screw you over).
FF to now. Been dating someone for the past 9 months. The loan had been on my mind more now since payment was finally due (ex would pay 3x’s the monthly note so next payment wasnt due till a few months later). GF noticed something was on my mind last night and she got it out of me today. I told her. In short, she was pissed I kept it from her this long. I told her I felt like it had nothing really to do with us honestly since it was being taken care of w/ no problems and no encounters w/ the ex.
Now, to get this out, shes had trust issues with me already since people txt or call late at night sometimes. Majority of the times its one of my buds, few times it might be a lady friend. I don’t reply to the txts and it’s never anything suggestive in the messages. Her argument is “WHY HAVENT I MET THEM IF THEY’RE YOUR FRIENDS”. They’re friends I haven’t seen since last year and I never really hung out with them on a regular basis. I can’t control them txting me w/o cancelling my txt service (I proposed that and she didn’t want it) She thinks I stray when I’m not around her and she couldn’t be anymore wrong with that thought. I wouldn’t do that to her. I’ve been out once w/o her earlier this year. She got on my case about it, I understood where she was coming from so I didn’t do it anymore.
Back to todays conversation, she tells me “see why it’s so fkn hard to trust you????” She hangs up the phone after saying “we’ll talk about this later.” This has me worried and I’m sad at this point. She now thinks I have more things I’m hiding from her which I don’t. I do a lot for this woman and try to do good, but I seem to be going about it all wrong.
I need some advice here! =(
TIA
I’m married 4 years ago, we have a girl kid, just for the sake of having a child we have been doing sex till my wife became pregnant. Frankly, we never enjoyed sex with each other..! hope you can understand what I mean..!
I used to fulfill my sex desire with a toy at my home, my wife never romances with me, flirts with me gives me a sex feeling voluntarily.
I have been praying that I should get a girl to fulfill all my desires. Yes, I thought that god has listened to my prayer and given a girl now.
She just came to my office once with our family friend. She came for a small different reason, somewhat I was admired and attracted by her. Only 30 minutes we had some general conversation in front of our family members(including my wife). Third day again, she came to my office and practiced some software in one of my office computers. I gave her a small test and went away. She started messaging me after I went away, she messaged me that she wants to talk to me. I called her, she proposed me on the call. I was literally shocked. I loved her too and accepted her proposal.
Thus our relationship continued for few more days, one night she asked me don’t u feel to have sex with me while we are talking? I said yes..! in a couple of days, we had a chance to gather together and enjoyed..!!
Its been a month now, we are still missing each other, she is already divorced twice with two husbands. Reason she says is she was not interested to have sex with them and they were not suitable to her in all the ways. They were not clean and not good hearted..!(she has 2 children and one is living with her, she is pure vegetarian, very much worshipping god, she grows her son with full of discipline, cares her son very much, she wears very very modern dresses, people will say she is not a good character by her appearance) she herself told me that she has had sex with another guy from a nearer city and he started avoiding her so, her love towards him is reduced.
What kind of girl is she? What does she expect from me now? My wife advices me that she is trying to cheat me…, separate me from my wife, trying to make myself to be her guardian and take care of her sexually and financially, her character is to flirt with as many men as possible and make them to make mad of her, its like her hobby, she is a sadist, she fucks many men like this for her own enjoyment.
I’m very much confused..! what should I do now??
I dont want to live anymore.
I feel very unattractive. I am 6’3”, broad shouldered, and bald. Most people are mystified by this since, apparently, they assume that everyone thinks the same and if some people think being big and bald is attractive, you’d have to be insane to have a dissenting opinion.
My feelings about my appearance are rooted in gender issues. It’s a little bit difficult to explain. I’m not gay and my dislike of my gender is not rooted in what turns me on. However, I compare myself to females, not males, and so I feel ugly in the same way a very tall, big, bald girl would feel. Remarks about how I look like an ex-football player or about how I make some girl feel small and protected make me feel absolutely horrible, but there is no way around them. Not only that, but people assume I’d love being seen as some big guy and find it funny that I would resent such remarks.
I don’t date and every day I think about how unattractive I am and how I can’t fix it. When I have talked to anyone (granted, without mentioning the gender issue), people either presume I’m too stupid to know some girls like big bald guys or encourage me to work out and “take advantage” of my build. This makes me feel even worse because I don’t want to “encourage” anyone to see me as overly masculine, and I have seen the type of females I can attract…lets just say Im better off alone.
I don’t crossdress and have no desire to do any surgery or anything, because I would obviously look ridiculous trying to pass as female. I know there is little I can with myself…I just don’t know how to deal with this. I feel so angry that I have been given the exact opposite of what I want, and I’m even angrier that I can’t get anyone to even understand me.
My life sucks, and i dont want to live anymore. I have never had a girlfriend (and didnt want the few desperate girls who wanted me), I dont have a permanent job, and my only friend is 150 miles away and married and well-off (hes a lawyer whose family financed him…my own could care less about me). I dont really have any prospects for the future: no possibility of a relationship or of being attractive, little chance of a better job since Im not very bright (I have an English degree from Michigan State…that should explain it), and my life outside of work consists of getting drunk or high.
http://s385.photobucket.com/albums/oo296/curseofdolkite/
But does that mean all kinds of sex? I was wondering if oral would be out of the question or is it just actual vaginal intercourse???
plss tell me somethings which i should not say to my gf….anything which comes to your ming..jst write it……i mean i dont want her to feel bad on anything i talk to her…so i am asking this question to know the things which i should not say to her
we both are 16 years old
I keep reading on here that women think about it as much if not more then men.Whether of or not this is true, thinking is not the same as desiring and that not the same as needing. If you manage to answer yes to all 7 questions below and be ok with it, then maybe what they‘ve been saying is true. Remember to state your sex when answering the following questions. (These are generalities, they won’t apply to everyone)
1)Do you self serve even when in a healthy, satisfying relationship?
2)Have you had intercourse while sick, angry, or sad?
3)Lie to have intercourse with someone?
4)Would you have intercourse with someone who you personal don’t like?
5)Would you have intercourse someone who’s not that attractive to you?
6)Would you have intercourse repeatedly with someone you don’t intend to get serious with?
7)Reach completion every time? (Note: For many it’s not worth it if you don’t)
Edit:
5)Would you have intercourse with someone who’s not that attractive to you?
(SORRY)
Quelarari:
If I’m coming off as @$$ I apologize, I sincerely in no way mean to be insulting, but LOL! Your response to question number seven was very much a women’s answer. I don’t think I’ll get many answers like that coming from men, simply because it’s so alien. I heard it before but it’s still in some way’s mystifying.
Sorry, it’s lengthy. But please read with patience.
You are this boy. This boy is an exchange student and he slept with a girl (a virgin) he met in this new country. He convinced the girl to lose her virginity to him but ignored this girl after sex despite telling the girl before the sex that he wouldn’t do so. The girl likes him obviously but the boy most probably doesn’t. Though the girl is notified by boy that he just likes her as friend and it’s impossible to have a relationship between them, the girl is shocked by the cold attitude he displayed after all the “i-won’t-stop-talking-to-you-after-sex” promises.
This girl has early on (even before the sex) planned to buy a nice tie as a farewell + Xmas + birthday gift for this boy (she thinks that tie is a decent gift that he can have a lot of use out of). Though she is crushed now, she still wants to do so. And this girl’s girl friend happens to be close friends with a girl (Girl A) who is a friend (quite close I would say )and also classmates/schoolmates of this boy back in their country. This crushed girl is now planning to ask this Girl A to do her a favor by helping her give this gift to the boy on his birthday (shortly after he is back to his country).
The reason she doesn’t want to give him the gift before he leaves:
1) Girl thinks boy already resents her, and will try every way to reject or return her gift when he is still in this country
2) Girl thinks that it might be more special if he actually receives this gift on his birthday and the cooling period between now and his birthday might make the gift appear more special.
But the girl also worries that the boy will get the wrong idea that this crushed girl is actually telling everyone the things going on between he and she, and thus would resent her even more.
Girl also worries that she might create trouble to Girl A who acts as the “agent” between them.
This boy told the crushed girl that he had slept with 30 women so far in his soon-to-be-21-years of life. And one of this crushed girl’s friend told girl that the reason boy is avoiding her now is because he doesn’t know how to face this girl anymore (Do you agree??). (This girl is not those who can feel emotionally detached after such intimacy and she shows strong desire to maintain a friendship with this boy but every effort seems to be in vain.)
So, IF you were this boy, and if you recieve this gift on your birthday at home via your close friend (Girl A), how would you feel??? Will you think this girl is disgustingly stupid?? Plus what if the girl includes a letter in the gift telling you why she is giving you the gift?? How would you feel???
You probably already knew that. Yea I am the girl…
Hi, how are you doing? I would really appreciate if you read thru my story and maybe give me a advice that would better advance my chances with this women. Let me first tell you little about myself and then I will lay things out for u so you can make a better determination and give me a better advice. I’m 25 yrs, I work as a pharm tech, I live near Detroit Area. I have my own everything I usually take good care of myself, Look always fresh, I dress sharp and stay busy with myself to look my best. One thing I find myself always to like and even into “OLDER WOMEN”.
I’m going tale you the story now like 2 years ago, I was on a online dating site, I found this one lady (52 Years old) that I looked at her pics (SIMPLE PICS) and I paused for like 30 sec. I started to chat with her we started chatting and just general things then as the chatting went on thru the weeks and even the month I told her how I like her presence, her being around, her elegance… etc. thats all we still online after these 6 months I asked for her number , she gave me her number so I called like 2-3 weeks after I usually call her once every 10 days as a average at the most 4 times a month.
So I called her the first time after those 6 months (from chatting online) and she was nice, I liked talking to her, she tells me about her life with her daughter, son , that she moved recently to this new appt, what she cooked , the weather how she hates the cold and likes it when its sunny …etc,
I give her a call every like 10 days sometimes she calls me back and sometimes she calls me on her own but u know not too often . So as we talked I asked her out to a nice restaurant and we agreed on a day after work, we went to this first time out , we had to wait for avi seats so we chatted a lil in the waiting room, after that we ordered the food , ate, and had my vodka and she ordered 2 glasses of wine. As we were eating we were talking and I told her how its long past due for us to get together how, she was saying how she thinks I take good care of her I smile and pay her attention and honestly I love to pay her attention . BUT not all over her don’t get me wrong but always treated like a lady, I know that she noticed that because she told me it. After we ate I gave her a ride to her daughter’s houseas she was about to exit my car she gives me a hug , good night and she puts her two fingers on her lips and she tells me kiss and she smiles it happened that we kissed but just kissed meaning firmly (on the lips ).
After this date we got in touch with each other , I didn’t change anything in any manner I kept on calling as often as I call once every 10 days , check on her , joke with her , compliment her even tell her how pleased I was to have her around, SO its been over 9 months since we went out on this date , But thru these 9 months nothing has changed I call her /she calls we talk I try to set something up, she is somehow busy with work and just her life. So I have known this lady for a total of 2 years @ LEAST and still I can’t advance things with her .
HERE ARE MY FOLLOWING QUESTION:
How do u think I should approach this women ? ( I REALLY TRIED, Still calling her for two years,asked her out , went out she still don’t get it )
How do I take it to the next level ? ( BEEN TWO YEARS I REALLY TRIED )
How can I get her to open up and talk to me ? (she wont tell me about her romance life , passion, sexual, intimate, cuddly thing )
How can I let her know what I really want only her and I desire her age ?
How can I let her know that I like her ?
Do you think she knows that I like her ?
How can I find out if she likes/dislike age thing ? if it’s a issue/ not issue for here ?? ? ?
I been talking with this women for two years just tell me why she has been talking to me for this long ? ( I believe has to be a reason )
I mean what is it that yet I didn’t try or do ?
Sorry to make u read all this but really Look its complicated ?
I am in love with my gf. She dumped me at 10 weeks preg and is now at week 16
for the entire relationship before that, i felt she was crazy about us
we were engaged and looking at houses.
she was so energitic abou us and we decided to marry…..Get engaged
as soon as i put the ring on her finger (a couple days later)
she broke it off and is now saying she does not love me all the sudden!
she says she has not dealt with her past relationship (divorce)
and cant see us together raising this child…
WHAM! this was all of the sudden 180 degree turn-around!
She is moving back in with mommy at 16 weeks preg 4 hrs away
Of course i will be a great dad, no matter what happens…. but could these extreme feelings be brought to this level from the preg?
she said if she was not preg we would still be together…..and it IS mine
Could this really be hormonal? or am i just out of luck?
5 months to go till birth 4 hrs drive away now : (
I am the nicest man in the world and care for them
so much, i just cant understand?
I know that whatever happens I will have to respect and love her anyway….she is the baby momma and
I want to have a good vibe….she is not very easy on us at the moment….I pray we come back together….
I do love the unborn child and feel it is being ripped away from me
however….i need to respect her if i have any chance?
we are well past college age but this feels like high school drama.
i hope for the best…..
I think its a double standard cause i know for a fact women have as much desire as men they just hide it better, or so they think lol. But what the hell whats so bad about a lady enjoying her life just like us guys, they have needs to. So why all the bull about them being sluts when they are only expressing there natural feelings.
Now being promiscuous has never been my way of life, but i know for a fact if i was id be treated a little more kindly than these ladies, but why? I think society should give these women some respect and a break they are not hurting anyone. What do you guys think? And keep your heads up ladies don’t let anyone put you down each and everyone one of you is unique and special in your own way!
Ok here is the thing my boyfriend and I have both been married and we both have kids from that marriages….I hardly ever speak to my ex husband unless it is concerning the kids….My boyfriends ex wife calls him at least 5 times a night and to make it worse they work together and she often calls for a lift to and from work……..
She does not only call about important things but also things like the girls will not listen to her what must she do??
On sat night we were called at 9 in the evening by the ppl that live next to her, to say that she and her boyfriend is having a fight and that he should maybe come and collect the kids…I don’t have a problem with that but what I do have a problem with is that she uses the kids to speak to him all the time.
I don’t know how to handle this….his one daughter stays with us and his other daughter with her mother and I don’t want him to think that I am trying to keep him from his kids but I am at a point where I want to just lose my cool with this woman
Please help I love my boyfriend and I don’t want this to affect our relationship to badly but I can’t just keep this in any more it feels like I’m going out of
My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years. We are very serious in our relationship and have talked about marriage many times but decided to wait until we are financially able to live comfortably together. I am a single mother of two adorable, well-behaved, beautiful little girls, ages 5 and 8. My boyfriend is great with them and they love him to death. He is by far the most trustworthy man/person I have ever known and I am truly the happiest during our time together. So what’s the problem? I am 26 and he is near 30. I live alone. He lives with his mother. After four years together he has stayed the night with me maybe 10-15 times. I see him a total of 2-3 days a week for usually no more than 5 hours each day and it’s usually late after he gets out of work. We have had maybe 6-9 times in the past year. His reason for not wanting to stay the night is that he doesn’t want to give my children the “wrong impression”. However, many times when they were at my sister’s for the night he came up with other reasons such as, he has to work in the morning, my bed is not comfortable etc. The sex thing, I truly have a higher sex drive than him. I have addressed the issue many times with failed results. That is something I am willing to deal with. And no it’s not because I am unattractive… at all. So my question is what should I do? We are looking at houses now and I am afraid of such a commitment but I also feel like I went too far with him to let him go now. I really don’t want to leave him because I am honestly afraid I won’t find anyone better and my children are already so attached. I feel if he is ok spending so little time with me now, how is it going to be once we live together or are married. I need any advice. Thank you.
is it for need/pleasure/luxury/bodyrequirement
Ok, I am a young woman who has been with my boyfriend for almost ten months now. I have really strong feelings for him, but unfortunately (because of his job, family or friends) I rarely get to share those feelings with him. Every now and then, I’ll share them with him, but it’s EVERY now and then. Not often. We’re abstinent, so we don’t have sex. We’ve both confessed to each other that we please ourselves, but that’s it as far sexual desires. We have them but we know how to control it. Now, I have been reading Steve Harvey’s book “Act like a lady, think like a man”. I’m almost done with it (l only have maybe 5 to 6 more pages to go), and one of the chapters was about how men love differently. Now, don’t get me wrong, my man is great. When we’re together, he kisses me, holds me, and I give him the same amount of loving too. He takes me out on dates and treats me like a lady. I love him with all my heart but at times I get very disappointed because when I want to share my feelings and be intimate, he comes up with plans with other people. I don’t tell him I want to be intimate because he mentions his plans before I can tell him and by the time he mentions his plans, it’s an automatic turn off. Sometimes I get very angry to the point where I don’t want to see or talk to him. I use to get mad at him but I’ve matured. He doesn’t get it when we argue, so I learned my lesson.
My question is, am i expecting to much of him? It’s really breaking my heart because he wants me to be closer to him but I can’t get close with him being like this. I don’t want to break up. One part of me says that it’ll get better when we get married live together but I don’t know if I should trust that.
Nothing in our relationship has every really changed. We recently had a child together and I’ve always thought he may be bi-sexual. He let me go through his e-mail once when I found some stuff and now I have his password. I can go through it whe ever I want and there are all these porn sites he’s signed up for (some gay some not). He deleted everything, we’ve recently decided to become more religious and we’ve decided to start our relationship over. Recently when i went into his e-mail i found e-mails from all these sites where gay men can hook up with each other. He didn’t have messages on any of them and I went through one and it was very deailed. He created it about a year ago possibly about a month before we got back together but maybe shorty after we did. He doesn’t use them anymore but they all say he’s bi-curious and wants to try sex with a man, a threesome, pretty much anything imaginable, very very explicit things. We’re moving very soon to move back in together with our daughter and a male friend of his. He’s very confrontational and when I try to tak to him about anything serious he gets angry and refuses. I’m not sure if I should move back in with him (we’ve been together this time for a year, but 5 years total). How should I go about bringing this up with him, or what should I do? We’re moving in just a week. Please help. Should I confront him, tell him he needs to figure this out before we go, just go and see what happens, or leave him? I’m so lost. Please help. Before when I found soemthing like this he said it was a joke, just to get attention sort of thing (he doesn’t have much self-esteem). Please please help.
All this happened while we were still together but before we decided to start over. It’s jsut not until recently that I found it, though I had already known about other thigns of this nature involving females, which I confronted him about. The only reason we’re not living together now is cuz we got kicked out of our apartment and had to go to seperate houses temporarily. I tried confronting him about this after all and he got VERY angry and insisted someone else did it to mess with him. I tried to tell him maybe he should make sure that it’s what he wants before he moved in with me and his child and he got VERY VERY angry. What should I do now? (I posted this earlier but needed to add to it)
I know the friend of his. He’s married as well but his wife is gone for a few months, he and I have been friends for a long time and I know he’s straight. I wouldn’t be upset if I found out my husband was guy. It’s just something I need to know. And if he’s bi I need to make sure that I’m the ONLY one he wants to have sex with, not go out and experiment. And talking like and adult with him is impossible. When I try he tells me that if I’m not going to believe him and accusing him of being a fag then I can jsut leave.
Please be brutally honest if necessary. What the hell do I do here? I love him, and I don’t even know how to function without him. But I ca’t be with him not knowing if I’m the ONLY one he wants to be having sex with, or if he might end up leaving because he isn’t sure about his sexuality. Please help.
PLEASE HELP?!
When I try to talk to him about it in anyways he says I either have to trust him that he’s straight or leave. I don’t want to raise my daughter alone, but I also don’t know if I should trust him and risk moving in with him (about 180 miles from where we are now) just to have to come back. And it wasn’t just him being curious, he was on sites where men can meet to have sex, which I know he hasn’t done. And I know he doesn’t use them anymore but.. I dunno.
Hi everyone, I need some positive, you go girl statements. From men and women. My boyfriend and I recently broke up. We were together for 5 years and for the past 6 months there have been things happening that have indicated to me that his heart was no longer in the relationship. Of course I hung in there thinking that it was a phase but too many hurtful, hateful things had been said to me by him. I will not tell what happened to end the relationship other than I called a male friend from my past and my boyfriend found this to be the ultimate betrayal.This male friend lives 400 miles away, I have no romantic interest in him, do not desire to be with him. I’m feeling really down and could use some advice on how to get through this because I am feeling really guilty about what I did.I am 42 years scared of being out there again but want to get back to a place of equilibrium. A lot of you out there have some great advice and I sure could use it.
Thanks
I mean, yes, there are obvious reasons. But I don’t see the reason why so many homosexuals have to be atheist. (First off, let me make something clear. I’m all for believing in what you want and I show no prejudice towards anyone.) People should be smart enough to realize that the Bible was written by who? Oh yeah, by MAN. Not by God. And oh yeah, what is that little thing that mankind is filled with? Oh yeah, FLAWS. People, lie, cheat, steal, and other unfortunate things which I don’t need to list. People aren’t perfect. And can be biased. Why doesn’t anyone realize that the Bible isn’t perfect? And that you can’t take EVERY single word or detail in it seriously?
And anyways, look at some of those hardcore religious people. You really get to know them and they’re just a bunch of hypocrites, who just use things to their advantage.
Anyways, yeah. I’m all for being whatever religion you want. I won’t judge a person over their religion ever. Again, I’m putting that out there so no one can say that I’m sort of taking only 1 side. People are entitled their own opinion.
Oh yeah, and I’m Roman Catholic.
Okay, that was a sort of generalization. You’re right. Let me rephrase that. “Why do many people assume that if you’re gay, you can’t believe in God?” I think that sounds a bit less general.
I’m a pretty big world of warcraft player, strangely enough I’m actually a major in computer programming…will be comp sci as soon as I get into a university…anyway…I’m starting to see a lot of these questions on here why do men chose video games over women? Personally, I’d like to ask the same question to others who do the same thing, I have my own reasons why as well.
1)Cheaper than women
2)If I get tired or frustrated, I can shut it off
3)I can ignore anyone I don’t want to talk to
4)New stuff is always added
5)Can help me get a job
6)Doesn’t really give me any RL problems like women tend to do
7)New instances are actually a challenge
8)One again, cheaper than women…15 bucks a month is a lot cheaper than a 2000 dollar ring, and 50% of your assets…
So…I ask, what are the reasons other feel that Video games such as World Of Warcraft > Women (actually just relationships in general).
Been 4 years since I last had a g/f on the 25th of this month
sorry…got cut off by spell check…Been 4 years, 4 months since I last had a g/f, never really started enjoying my free time after until I picked up a copy of WoW.
oh I forgot…WoW never forgets to take the pill…and doesn’t give you “viruses”.
Actually…if you think games get you no where…check out the list of jobs on blizzards frequently updated site! Women seem to SPEND money rather than make it for me, could just be my past one though. When was the last time peoples b/f or g/f got them a really good high paying job because of the experence they ALREADY had?
http://www.blizzard.com/jobopp/
I found out yesterday that my husband has sexual thoughts about other men. We have been together for 3 1/2 years and married for 6 months. He said he has had sexual encounters with men before me. I don’t know the details and how far cause i don’t want to know. I have been so upset and confused. he told me he has never been with a guy when he was in a relationship with a women. he told me he doesn’t want to have the thoughts or do what he did in the past but he can’t help it. he balled to me telling me he loves me and want to spend the rest of his life with me. Another thing is the way i found all this out was i woke up yesterday and found craigslist.org open on the computer and it said “men seeking men” i ran upstairs and woke him up and asked him if he was gay? he said no its nothing to worry about and then the truth came out. So anyway last Thursday he told me he was going out with an old friend from a previous job. Since all this was going on i asked if this guy was truly a “old friend” he admitted it was not but it was a guy that he contacted on craigslist that has the same issues he does. Basically he met with him to see if he could find answers to why he was thinking and feeling the way he does. I asked if anything happened and said at this point why lie and said honestly “no”. other then this he has given me no reason to not believe him. He is a wonderful person. I used to think he was the perfect man. Every girl would of been jealous of me because he is so great. So i told him this is it. I think he should go to counseling and he has to be patient with me to be able to trust him again and we would have to kind of start over. i also told him he has to make sure 100% that he wants me not men. He said “I am not gay or have the desire to be with a man”. Then he said this problem would be all over with soon and we would be able to move on. The reason he kept it from me all together was because he wanted to protect my feelings and he thought he would of been able to take care of these thought before they affected us. So i guess i am asking why the f did this happen to me and why is he thinking like that and should i believe that he cab be “fixed” and how can i learn to trust him again? Sorry so much info. just have a lot going through my mind. Please respond respectfully and seriously. thanks
I’ve been in a long distance relationship for about a year now. We’re very much in love with eachother…but him being so far away gives me this feeling that Im going to lose him. Whenever I need someone to be beside me its always…or mostly my best guy friend. I liked this guy before and now Im starting to like him again. I still want to be with my boyfriend…but I want him so badly. I cant go visit him cuz of money and we barely can talk with school and work. I dont know if its worth waiting for him…whenever I talk to my bf about this he gets emotional and tell me his feelings. When I talk to my best friend thats a girl she tells me to go for the one who is near. I dont know what to do…I really love my bf…but he is rarely there for me. And how my life is going right now I need someone I can lean against…ugh!!! HELP!!!
I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about a year now and things have drastically slowed down in the bedroom. I still find her irresistible and can’t wait to jump her bones. More and more often though, she doesn’t feel like doing anything. She always says that she’s horny, but just too tired to put any effort into it. When she gets home all she does is sit in front of the TV until it’s time to go to bed. I’ve tried talking to her to see if there is anything that might help, but her reply is always that she’s just too tired and that if something is stressing her out, it just kills her mood for a day or two. I could have a horrible day and come home to her, set my day and bad mood aside, and still make love to her like crazy. Is there anything I can do??? She says that her bad days kill her sex drive… well, my lack of sex is causing every day to be a bad one… I just want us to find some sort of happy medium. Any suggestions?
I am not sure what the correct etiquette is for funerals, as it is different in different parts of the country.
I did not know the deceased, but I’m pretty close to one of his sons, and his grandson.
Would it be better for me to go to the funeral, or the visitation?
So I’m very much still in love w/my ex gf of 5.5 years. We split up a year ago b/c I just wasn’t ready to marry her and our relationship was suffering b/c of it. Fast forward a year and we still talk 5x a week, still miss each other all the time, and can’t picture anyone we’d rather spend our time with. We both feel this way and still both love each other.
The problem is I personally have 0 desire to get physically intimate with her. We have kissed a little recently and at times it was ok but I don’t feel the passion burning in my loins like I once did.
There were some bad things that happened right after we broke up and emotionally scared me a little immediately after we broke up. Things along the lines of her dating someone new immediately and not wasting any time getting down and dirty whereas I waited 6 months + before I even tried to date again. It hurt me at the time but I guess people cope in different ways.
In any case I’m all for seeing a couples counsellor with her and still can’t imagine anyone else I’d rather spend my time with. She’s my best friend and has been through the breakup. Is she the right person for me and should I push through and try to find that urge down below again:) Appreciate the input!
Me and GF of 2yrs are really in a rough patch in recent times. Were both 27 and lived together for the past year. She’s had a very unstable upbringing from her family and tumultuous relationship w/ an ex BF of 9yrs. So certainly not the greatest foundation for emotional success. She has what to be expected, insecurity, paranoid/negative outlook, anxiety, and trust issues. However, she is an amazingly kind and genuine woman. She loves me more than I’ve ever been and would do absolutely anything for me. She’s loyal and trust worthy. I don’t want to make it sound like she’s a Jerry Springer nut case because that isn’t so. But in a close intimate relationship like ours her issues certainly cause major strains! She been off and on with therapy for many years and went to a psychologist back in high school and they say she was manic depressive I believe. Her current therapist (hasn’t seen him in about 6 months) last said she shows sign of bi polar disorder. She has taken anti-depressants for a while too.
Her continued lack of true trust in me and constant paranoia that some girl will always be after me has sparked my desire to end the relationship and I brought this too her. She began packing to move out but of course became such was a wreck, I mean just complete melt down!! It gave me such extreme anxiety I seriously couldn’t handle it, I told her to stop packing stay and we can talk about how we could go about this. I feel like I almost need to see a therapist now ? I know relationships/marriage are possible with these types of people but they take tremendous dedication , patience, and counseling. I just don’t know if I’m cut out and willing. She’s not in denial what so ever, she’s fully accepting of her issues and hates that she is this way. She knows the damage is causes. She now plans to see a physiologist to get another diagnosis and see what can be done. I just feel so incredibly horrible b/c I do love her and could not handle her completely hitting rock bottom without me. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever faced in my life and just don’t know if I’m ready for this lifelong commitment and battle!
I need anwsers fast. Alo any gays email me so I can talk tosomeone who knows what to do.
My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years, but we have been together for 11 years. (since freshman year in college) We have 3 kids, and are genuinely “happy” together, with one small exception:
My wife seems to have lost interest in me sensually.
I don’t mean to be immodest, but I am a rather attractive fellow, in very good shape, etc. I got to the gym 6 nights a week and am in almost the same shape I was in college, which is quite good.
I have always gone out of my way to do nice things like give her candle-lit massages when the kids go to bed, rub her feet after work, taking care of the dishes, vacuuming, cleaning, etc. When she workds in the morning, I always brush the snow off her car and start it so it’s warm when she gets in. I’m sure you get the idea…lots of things like that. I’ve done all this because she told me some time ago that it was wearing on her, and I completely understood.
Also, she’s notably heavier than she was in college…which is to be expected after having 3 (wonderful) kids. It doesn’t bother me at all, she is still hot as all get out.
But doing all this seems to make her more bored with me. I’m pretty sure she isn’t cheating or anything. I just wish she had a little more zest for me….like she used to. I still an CRAZY about her and love her tremendously. Other women make it clear that I am an attractive guy…but for some reason she’s ambivelent towards me, when other women are anything but. I have no desire for any other women, but my wife doesn’t really seem to care. She ….usually….have sex if I ask, but she never seems to need or want it.(We used to be quite active in that department, and she really used to enjoy it alot) Even the thought of me giving her oral doesn’t excite her anymore, althought when she lets me she gets really into it.
I am confident in my sexual ability, no problems in that department. I know I do everything a husband can do to make her feel loved. She likes to go out with her friends once or twice a month, which is cool….at least she can unwind, but when she gets home I’m excited to see her and all she musters is a “………..hi hon……”
Can any of you women out there please give me some insight as to what I could possibly be doing wrong? Some say that I took “the chase” out of it, and that I need to make myself a little aloof and unavailable…but I don’t know. Any guys out there, no stupid answers please. Ladies, any sincere help would be VERY much appreciated!
Thank you!
I dated the most amazing guy for about 9 months. I met him shortly after my 6 year relationship, and I can honestly say I had some of the best times w/ him that I never did have in my prior relationship. It was wild, crazy, fun and at one point True. The feelings were all there, but the committment to another relationship was not there for either end. We both came from the same boat, so we were still under recuperation. It’s been about 4 months now since the last time I saw him, now we don’t even text at all. Nothing. I find myself thinking about him every single day. He crosses my mind at some point. I am a very productive woman, believe me – I keep myself occupied, this is probably one of the reasons why we’re on different ends righ now. So not that I drown myself in our memories, he just captured a special part of me and I think about him, miss him and desire him like I never had before – every single day!!!! This has been going on for a few months now. I have reminded him he’s still a part of me, and replied with one of his metaphors saying we’re both riding the same cruise ship, just on different ends of it… What are your thoughts? I have tried to talk myself out of it and regardless of the amount of strenght I know I have, I can’t seem to get him out of my mind and my heart. It sometimes feel like my instincs tell me not to and be patient about the situation. Am I putting myself through this fantasy of hope? What should I do? … I appreciate your thoughts…
I’m going to bangkok for a week, and I’m ready to do some SERIOUS shopping! I was wondering, what kind of clothes or things, do they sell on the vendors? What is the correct etiquette to bargaining? What is a good market place to go?
Now before I post this question I will flat out tell you this not a place to bash homosexuals. So please don’t. I am not making fun of nor trying to put them down. I have a serious question I need an answer for … or the best answer. If it manages to offend someone, I do apologize it was not my intent.
Currently, very few religions accept homosexuality.
Depending the religion, homosexuality is viewed as wrong.
“The word of God” tells us this through the bible.
This where it gets tricky.
If one is religious, and accepts their religion and their word of God as Fact. The Truth. Etc. Yet, they are homosexual which instantly means they are unwelcome by their God, because he said so in text, if they partake in their homosexual feelings. There are all kinds of reasons why someone would remain a part of a religion that they believe in, even if the religion does not believe in them. But that’s not the question. The question is, marriage.
Homosexuals wish to get married in a church and before God. They want God to bless their union and their love. But, that will not happen according to their God. What they are doing is an insult to their Lord. Not only do they want him to bless their sin, according to him its a sin once more going off his words in the texts, but they want to do in a “Holy Place”.
To simplify it.
Homosexuals that wish to be married before God in a traditional wedding are asking God to go against what he has already said is wrong. They are asking a God who states that they are an abomination in his eyes, to love and bless them and their newly created family.
Why would someone do this?
It makes little to no sense to me.
I understand peoples love for eachother, their desire to be partners, etc. I even understand doing the marriage deal via the law. But wanting to do it the traditional way, even tho it wouldn’t be accepted by their God?
I am thinking about it, but I really don’t know what the correct “etiquette” is for this situation. Is it legal? Do you just turn up? Can you watch to begin with?
Is it safe?
Thank you to all genuine answers!